Make new friends, but keep the old

One of the challenging parts of leaving your 20s behind is making new friends and staying in touch with your old friends. I think it is a good indicator of your strength in friendships when you are able to re-connect with a friend from 10 or 15 years ago, and it is almost as if you had never had the time apart.

I have a hard time dealing with the guilt that comes in between those meetings. We all get busy and even in the days of cell phones and email, it is so easy for three or four months to go by and you haven't caught up with one of your best friends. When you are married, it is lovely to spend all your free time with the one you love, and more difficult to make plans. Also, when one spends 90% of the day on the phone, sometimes it is challenging to get on the phone again, even though it is always enjoyable to have that "catch up" conversation.

Recently, one of my friends had a major life transition, and I find out about it through his Facebook post. This friend is leaving the city where he has lived for ten years and moving to VA. No mention of the significant other. I was so disappointed with myself that I was out of the loop about all these changes in his life. What kind of a friend am I that I wasn't there to support him through such a difficult time? The truth is that if I was going through a similar change, I wouldn't have expected him to be there for me either, but it is still disheartening that we lost that closeness.

I guess the new chapter in friendships is that you do your best to keep in touch, and when you can be there for your friends -- new and old, you are there and you put value in that time.

New friendships are exciting too, but harder to come by. In college your friends practically fall in your lap through classes, dorms and even bars. All you have is free to time grab a coffee or a smoke with someone to establish a new relationship. When you are working and married, that is a bit harder to do, but I certainly do miss that spontaneity.

In a week a few of my friends -- new and old are gathering to celebrate my birthday. It will be great for some of them to meet each other, and I am doing my best to value the time we spend together.

Not interested, so why bother?

Working a sales office on a Saturday can bring out some interesting folks. Since we do put out a sign advertising our "model home," it is to be expected that people will stop by interested in seeing our attractive decor or construction to get ideas for their own home.

I have worked many Saturdays, and I get pretty good at identifying the "Looky Lou's." Certainly nothing against LL's. I keep a feeling deep inside that these people will eventually meet someone age-and-income qualified to live here and exclaim, "Oh, by happenstance, I just stopped in there to see their drapes. That community will knock your socks off, and the sales team is SO SWEET..."

So any time a couple meanders into the model home with no intent of ever living in a retirement community, I put on a smile and just imagine that they will pass along the word to someone they know.

A few Saturdays ago, that smile was hard to find.

40ish couple walks in.
She: How big are your homes here?
Me: Well, we will have homes and apartments of all sizes. Are you looking for a retirement community for someone you know?
She: Retirement? Ick, no.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, but in this community you would have to be 62 to live here.
She: I just want to see your model.
Me: Sure, come on in. I show them some of the scale model.
He: How much does this cost?
Me: Depends on the home, we are entrance fee, etc., etc.
He: Health Care costs? This place sounds dreadful.

Since we haven't even gotten to the model home, I politely explained that they certainly didn't need to take the time to see the rest if they thought it was "dreadful."

She: I can't believe people would purchase a home here.
Me: Sorry you feel that way; we actually have reserved most of our homes here.
He: I hope I didn't offend you by calling your place dreadful.
Me:(Starting to think these people are never going to run into a potential resident) Of course not! Not at all, I hope you all have good luck on your search for a new home. (Hint, hint...)

Finally, they exited, but it made me wonder if they spend most of their Saturday dropping into Model Homes to make people feel bad about themselves.

Of course, leave it to an experience like that to turn things around. Exactly one week later, two unassuming LL's drop by and completely make my day. In fact, they really made my week. I'll never think of a "walk-in" the same again.

30 days to 30

I stole this from a great friend of mine who is also closing in on the 30th birthday. It is official that we are in the window of 30 days until our 30th birthday, so let the celebration begin.

My friend and I have birthdays one day apart, and since we live in separate cities we aren't going to be able to celebrate together. We were fortunate to be able to connect this past weekend and have a pseudo-celebration.

What better way to spend a nice NC day than getting in a paprika Mitsubishi Eclipse convertible. The idea sounded better when we were lounging in the house. MWL had signed up for a wine club membership with Raffaldini Winery in the Yadkin Valley. The idea came to us as we were sipping Rose on their balcony overlooking the Western NC mountains. It was May, the gardens in the place were amazing, and we felt like we were in Tuscany.

MWL: Let's join the Wine Club, it will make us return here more often, and the wine is pretty good.

Fast forward three months, and we notice that Raffaldini has deducted money from our bank account. Looks like our wine is in.

So the three of us fold into the Eclipse convertible and take some back roads to Raffaldini. Three hours later we arrive just as they are closing the tasting room. Wine didn't taste quite as good as we remembered, but the views were fine. We also had the opportunity to review the proper pronunciation of "anise."

The day ended with dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. Perhaps I set up a high expectation when I explained to my friend that this place is "the best restaurant in the world." Somehow nothing was tasting as good as I remembered.

We often find ourself in this situation when company is in town. It may be that we are so excited to share some of the wonderful experiences we have had, or maybe the magic wears off after seeing the place through out-of-town eyes. Either way, we had just as much fun relaxing on the couch with a nice bottle of wine and catching up with an old friend. Well, if you consider 29 11/12 old.

Slogging in the rain = broken iPod

Unfortunately, our romantic slog in the rain came with a consequence. My iPod trackwheel has stopped working. After spending an hour waiting at the "Genius" bar, Genius Brian deemed the relatively youthful iPod Nano broken and 2 months out of warranty. Thank you, Genius Brian.

In the process, they did explain how to restart the Nano and restore the Nano, but unfortunately none of those techniques can make a trackwheel start to work again. Conveniently, they can give me 10% off a new Nano. I declined their generous offer.

Spending 30 minuntes at the Genius bar should be required of anyone enamored with Apple's slick looking electronic equipment. People were waiting for hours to learn about $299 upgrades to their $599 iPhones that would give them the app to use iPhoto on their iPhone. In the time I was waiting, three people came to the bar with batteries that wouldn't charge. I wonder if Windows opened up a store, what would their help desk be called? Would there be a 2-hour wait for an appointment?

I was impressed with myself that I was able to walk out of the Apple store without spending any money. Thankfully, I had a back up Nano at home. Slightly older, but it still works. Come to think of it, this Nano is a replacement Nano. I think the first one had some battery problems.

Slogging

Ever since MWL and I started to run for exercise, I feel like I have invented a new term, "slogging." As I am running, I am reminded of one of my favorite movies, "Anchorman." In the movie, Ron Burgundy declines to attend his regular pancake breakfast with his friends in order to participate in a new hobby with his girlfriend. The new hobby? Jogging, not sure if it is pronounced with a soft "J." Apparently, you just run.

I never had the mental toughness for running. My parents forced me into track for one year in middle school. After two practices, I developed a case of the shin splints. I was mediocre at long jump, but you were required to participate in another event that involved running. I was put in the mile run. I think I ran one race and collapsed afterward. Thus ended my long distance running career in sports.

When we first started running a couple years ago, it was incredibly hard. I was always running so slow that MWL could beat me walking with no problem. He would sometimes even walk in circles around me to prove how slow I was running. I used to joke on particularly slow runs, I wasn't even jogging, I was really "slogging."

Eventually with the help of several energetic Ipod playlists, I am getting up to speed and starting to love running.

On Sunday a curious thing happened. We started out on our run, and it was drizzling a bit. Two years ago this alone would be an excuse to not run. We went anyway. By about 1/4 way through, it was raining. Then about 1/2 way through, it was all out pouring. Already we felt pretty good since there were only a few "hard core" runners out there, but then we noticed that some of those folks were even stopping. Not us. We were absolutely soaked. Twice I had to dump the water out of my ears, but we kept going. By the end of the run, my shoes were squishing, and I realized that this is really slogging. On the run the next day, it was amazing how much easier it was to run. Once I had the experience of running with heavy, wet shoes, I could run any length with dry shoes.