Taking a small break

Growing Up Morgan is going to be taking a small break as I am working on a food blog with my good friend, Alice Lin. Alice and I have this argument all time: Which city has better food -- Raleigh or Durham? So we have decided to battle it out on a food blog called Triangle Food Fight. We are currently working on content for the site, and I will update this blog with our progress.

Hello 30, I've been expecting you

Well, it has happened. I turned 30. What a way to celebrate with all my family in town and so many friends to come out to join the party. The actual day was fairly low-key. I always like to work on my birthday, and my work-mates did an excellent job of making me feel special all day. At home MWL made my favorite dinner -- any guesses???-- and let me watch girly tv all night.

30 days of 30 is officially over, and now the real growing up begins. I am starting to identify now what parts of my life are going to change. It is a good time to take stock and think about what DO I really want to DO?

Make new friends, but keep the old

One of the challenging parts of leaving your 20s behind is making new friends and staying in touch with your old friends. I think it is a good indicator of your strength in friendships when you are able to re-connect with a friend from 10 or 15 years ago, and it is almost as if you had never had the time apart.

I have a hard time dealing with the guilt that comes in between those meetings. We all get busy and even in the days of cell phones and email, it is so easy for three or four months to go by and you haven't caught up with one of your best friends. When you are married, it is lovely to spend all your free time with the one you love, and more difficult to make plans. Also, when one spends 90% of the day on the phone, sometimes it is challenging to get on the phone again, even though it is always enjoyable to have that "catch up" conversation.

Recently, one of my friends had a major life transition, and I find out about it through his Facebook post. This friend is leaving the city where he has lived for ten years and moving to VA. No mention of the significant other. I was so disappointed with myself that I was out of the loop about all these changes in his life. What kind of a friend am I that I wasn't there to support him through such a difficult time? The truth is that if I was going through a similar change, I wouldn't have expected him to be there for me either, but it is still disheartening that we lost that closeness.

I guess the new chapter in friendships is that you do your best to keep in touch, and when you can be there for your friends -- new and old, you are there and you put value in that time.

New friendships are exciting too, but harder to come by. In college your friends practically fall in your lap through classes, dorms and even bars. All you have is free to time grab a coffee or a smoke with someone to establish a new relationship. When you are working and married, that is a bit harder to do, but I certainly do miss that spontaneity.

In a week a few of my friends -- new and old are gathering to celebrate my birthday. It will be great for some of them to meet each other, and I am doing my best to value the time we spend together.

Not interested, so why bother?

Working a sales office on a Saturday can bring out some interesting folks. Since we do put out a sign advertising our "model home," it is to be expected that people will stop by interested in seeing our attractive decor or construction to get ideas for their own home.

I have worked many Saturdays, and I get pretty good at identifying the "Looky Lou's." Certainly nothing against LL's. I keep a feeling deep inside that these people will eventually meet someone age-and-income qualified to live here and exclaim, "Oh, by happenstance, I just stopped in there to see their drapes. That community will knock your socks off, and the sales team is SO SWEET..."

So any time a couple meanders into the model home with no intent of ever living in a retirement community, I put on a smile and just imagine that they will pass along the word to someone they know.

A few Saturdays ago, that smile was hard to find.

40ish couple walks in.
She: How big are your homes here?
Me: Well, we will have homes and apartments of all sizes. Are you looking for a retirement community for someone you know?
She: Retirement? Ick, no.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, but in this community you would have to be 62 to live here.
She: I just want to see your model.
Me: Sure, come on in. I show them some of the scale model.
He: How much does this cost?
Me: Depends on the home, we are entrance fee, etc., etc.
He: Health Care costs? This place sounds dreadful.

Since we haven't even gotten to the model home, I politely explained that they certainly didn't need to take the time to see the rest if they thought it was "dreadful."

She: I can't believe people would purchase a home here.
Me: Sorry you feel that way; we actually have reserved most of our homes here.
He: I hope I didn't offend you by calling your place dreadful.
Me:(Starting to think these people are never going to run into a potential resident) Of course not! Not at all, I hope you all have good luck on your search for a new home. (Hint, hint...)

Finally, they exited, but it made me wonder if they spend most of their Saturday dropping into Model Homes to make people feel bad about themselves.

Of course, leave it to an experience like that to turn things around. Exactly one week later, two unassuming LL's drop by and completely make my day. In fact, they really made my week. I'll never think of a "walk-in" the same again.

30 days to 30

I stole this from a great friend of mine who is also closing in on the 30th birthday. It is official that we are in the window of 30 days until our 30th birthday, so let the celebration begin.

My friend and I have birthdays one day apart, and since we live in separate cities we aren't going to be able to celebrate together. We were fortunate to be able to connect this past weekend and have a pseudo-celebration.

What better way to spend a nice NC day than getting in a paprika Mitsubishi Eclipse convertible. The idea sounded better when we were lounging in the house. MWL had signed up for a wine club membership with Raffaldini Winery in the Yadkin Valley. The idea came to us as we were sipping Rose on their balcony overlooking the Western NC mountains. It was May, the gardens in the place were amazing, and we felt like we were in Tuscany.

MWL: Let's join the Wine Club, it will make us return here more often, and the wine is pretty good.

Fast forward three months, and we notice that Raffaldini has deducted money from our bank account. Looks like our wine is in.

So the three of us fold into the Eclipse convertible and take some back roads to Raffaldini. Three hours later we arrive just as they are closing the tasting room. Wine didn't taste quite as good as we remembered, but the views were fine. We also had the opportunity to review the proper pronunciation of "anise."

The day ended with dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. Perhaps I set up a high expectation when I explained to my friend that this place is "the best restaurant in the world." Somehow nothing was tasting as good as I remembered.

We often find ourself in this situation when company is in town. It may be that we are so excited to share some of the wonderful experiences we have had, or maybe the magic wears off after seeing the place through out-of-town eyes. Either way, we had just as much fun relaxing on the couch with a nice bottle of wine and catching up with an old friend. Well, if you consider 29 11/12 old.

Slogging in the rain = broken iPod

Unfortunately, our romantic slog in the rain came with a consequence. My iPod trackwheel has stopped working. After spending an hour waiting at the "Genius" bar, Genius Brian deemed the relatively youthful iPod Nano broken and 2 months out of warranty. Thank you, Genius Brian.

In the process, they did explain how to restart the Nano and restore the Nano, but unfortunately none of those techniques can make a trackwheel start to work again. Conveniently, they can give me 10% off a new Nano. I declined their generous offer.

Spending 30 minuntes at the Genius bar should be required of anyone enamored with Apple's slick looking electronic equipment. People were waiting for hours to learn about $299 upgrades to their $599 iPhones that would give them the app to use iPhoto on their iPhone. In the time I was waiting, three people came to the bar with batteries that wouldn't charge. I wonder if Windows opened up a store, what would their help desk be called? Would there be a 2-hour wait for an appointment?

I was impressed with myself that I was able to walk out of the Apple store without spending any money. Thankfully, I had a back up Nano at home. Slightly older, but it still works. Come to think of it, this Nano is a replacement Nano. I think the first one had some battery problems.

Slogging

Ever since MWL and I started to run for exercise, I feel like I have invented a new term, "slogging." As I am running, I am reminded of one of my favorite movies, "Anchorman." In the movie, Ron Burgundy declines to attend his regular pancake breakfast with his friends in order to participate in a new hobby with his girlfriend. The new hobby? Jogging, not sure if it is pronounced with a soft "J." Apparently, you just run.

I never had the mental toughness for running. My parents forced me into track for one year in middle school. After two practices, I developed a case of the shin splints. I was mediocre at long jump, but you were required to participate in another event that involved running. I was put in the mile run. I think I ran one race and collapsed afterward. Thus ended my long distance running career in sports.

When we first started running a couple years ago, it was incredibly hard. I was always running so slow that MWL could beat me walking with no problem. He would sometimes even walk in circles around me to prove how slow I was running. I used to joke on particularly slow runs, I wasn't even jogging, I was really "slogging."

Eventually with the help of several energetic Ipod playlists, I am getting up to speed and starting to love running.

On Sunday a curious thing happened. We started out on our run, and it was drizzling a bit. Two years ago this alone would be an excuse to not run. We went anyway. By about 1/4 way through, it was raining. Then about 1/2 way through, it was all out pouring. Already we felt pretty good since there were only a few "hard core" runners out there, but then we noticed that some of those folks were even stopping. Not us. We were absolutely soaked. Twice I had to dump the water out of my ears, but we kept going. By the end of the run, my shoes were squishing, and I realized that this is really slogging. On the run the next day, it was amazing how much easier it was to run. Once I had the experience of running with heavy, wet shoes, I could run any length with dry shoes.

Hard Times

I am facing one of the most difficult points in my professional career. Ever since college, success has been based on how much business I could develop.

In the senior living world, my relationship building was with customers who needed to make a change right away. In this new position, I am selling a product that isn't going to be ready for another 24 months. This product is going to be amazing. It is going to be completely different than any of our competition. Everyone who is able to visit the sales office leaves positive about the product, but it is taking the next step toward commitment that is the most difficult.

Our customers have a variety of obstacles. Of course, the economy is the easiest one. Most of our customers have lost a portion of their retirement accounts in the last year. They may not be able to afford the home they were dreaming of in our community. Another obstacle is that our community is in development stage. Our potential residents are seeing a lot of developments that are "in development" and the developer have disappeared and homes are left empty. This community has a guarantee that homes are going to be filled with residents.

Overcoming obstacles has always been part of the work, but the most difficult part is going through a dry spell. Dry spells can make you feel like you are never going to make a sale again. Of course, as soon as you feel like there is nothing coming around the corner, something comes.

Here's to something coming.

Social Media & Trophies

I had the opportunity to hear two speakers this past week discuss Social Media and marketing strategies. One of the speakers was a fellow Rotarian and local photographer. She is in her 40's, and she spoke about the "Echo Boomer" generation. This was a new term for me. She explained that an Echo Boomer is anyone born after 1977 and before 2000. Presumably these are the children of Baby Boomers.

I didn't even know that I am an Echo Boomer. She discussed ways Echo Boomers work: they want an experience in their work life, they don't want to be tied to their desk 9-5, and they are incredible multi-tasker's. In a room full of baby boomers (and beyond), I found their general attitude toward this Echo Boomer who couldn't bother to work 40 hours per week was "good luck."

I have to believe that students graduating from college in this economy are willing to put in any number hours per week so long as the job pays their cell phone bills. Speaking for myself, would I love a job that would allow me to "work out of pocket" most of the time? Sure, but that wouldn't be practical for most industries. Many of my sales have come to me just because I was in the office at the right time (meaning my scheduled time to be there -- 9am-5pm).

The other speaker I heard was Deidre Hughey of The Buzz Builder. If you haven't checked out her site, I highly recommend it. Deidre is an excellent speaker on social media and makes an excellent point about sites like Facebook and LinkedIN... if you aren't on there, your customers are and you are missing a chance to interact with them. Now it is almost the case that if you aren't on there, people may wonder -- where are you?

As an Echo Boomer, I find myself tied to these sites, and I feel indulged by them. The photographer made another comment about Echo Boomers. Evidently we are also referred to as the "Trophy Generation." The reason being that in our generation, everyone on the team got a trophy. I was in Little League, I am sure I didn't excel, and I don't necessarily remember the trophy. I do know that when I grew up there was a healthy emphasis on boosting your child's self esteem. Perhaps that is why our generation is blogging and posting their most private moments online. It is a way to get that trophy or instant gratification.

Three Cups of Tea

I just finished an amazing book called "Three Cups of Tea." MWL bought me the book a while back, and I finally got around to reading it. I can't believe I waited so long. The book tells the story of Greg Mortenson, a mountain climber that happens upon a village in Pakistan during a failed attempt at climbing K2. He learns more about the lack of schools in rural Pakistan and makes a promise to build a school in this small village.

The story really shows how education really is the key to peace. Mortenson really is a rare breed who can adapt in any culture, and he makes real change happen.

Once Mortenson is able to cobble together funds and returns to the small village of Korphe where he promised to build the first school, he takes over as general contractor. He is running around with a level and plumb line, ordering all the villagers around on how to build a school. He is very frustrated about the progress since he knows the school must be completed before winter sets in. Eventually, the village leader takes Greg on a hike and sits him down and asks him to reconfirm his mission. "To build a school for the children of Korphe, of course," Greg answers. "Then sit down and shut up," the leader answered. Greg had to relinquish his level and plumb line and the school was built in three weeks.

Sometimes you have to let the natives do what they do best.

I highly recommend this book for a good lesson in life.

Weekend Update

Sometimes we have to squeeze a weekend into a short period of time, and I must say we are getting pretty good at it.

Saturday at 4:45 PM: I enter the door and find a nice snack to enjoy courtesy of the husband -- goat gouda, fresh bread, sliced tomatoes, roasted piquillo peppers.

We head off to Southern Season to pick up a birthday gift, and stop at discount store in search of sheets. Success with the birthday gift, not so much with sheets.

The plan for the evening was to find three restaurants to serve as our own personal Durham Food Crawl. Cocktail, Entree and Dessert.

1) Cocktail -- Vin Rouge for a Lillet Blanc, oysters smothered in cheese and cream.
2) Entree -- Piedmont for NC Tuna, Risotto, more Lillet
3) Dessert -- Nana's for Blackberry basil sorbet and shortbread cookies.

What an enjoyable evening to reconnect with some friends and outstanding Durham eateries.

Rowing a Boat

Rowing a Boat

It has taken me 30 years to know one of my biggest faults. Who would have thought something as simple as rowing a boat would make this so clear.

Certainly this isn’t to say that I completely understand this fault, or that this is my only fault. My continuing need to succeed in any possible situation is just one issue in the bag of issues. Of course, this drive has had some advantages, but it comes at so many costs. Sometimes it is the cost of hurting someone else’s feelings or taking on too much control or not living up to the standard I set.

Rowing a boat with my mother-in-law really brough it to a point.

Every summer, my in-laws invite my husband and I too their home on Sandy Pond in Sandy Creek, NY. The place is perfect for a summer vacation, and their home sits on a channel that leads out to the lake. At one time, we encouraged them to get a kayak or boat that you could row around the channels. We thought this would be a great way for them to get some exercise and a fun way for us to pass to the time during our visits.

Sure enough, when we were all there for our Fourth of July pilgrimage, there was a row boat docked in the channel waiting for us. My father-in-law had purchased it from the fairgrounds with a guarantee that it wouldn’t leak. He also purchased a 1949 outboard motor and attached it to the back of the boat. I was looking forward to taking the boat for a spin, but determined to not need the motor on the back.

A day after our arrival, my sister-in-law, mother-in-law and I were left alone in the house. The boys had found an errand to run, which inevitably would end up with a trip to the local watering hole. I suggested to the girls that we have an adventure and take the boat out. I didn’t think they would be up for it, but after a few minutes, my mother-in-law came down the stairs ready to row.

We all stepped gingerly into the boat together and my mother-in-law ventured to take the oars.

My vast experience in rowing a boat is as follows:
-Growing up in Ohio, we had a small pond in which I did row a boat several times as a child. The boat had one oar, and you had to row on either side to go straight.
-I have been on two white-water rafting trips, one in West Virginia as a 10-year-old, and one in Costa Rica at the age of 15. In both instances I paddled with one oar.
-I have rowed in two different kayaks, one in Monterey, CA; one in the sound of NC.

Obviously, the criteria above make me the most qualified in rowing. At least, that was my assumption. My mother-in-law explained to us that she and her husband had rowed the boat in several occasions, and she was able to take the lead. She got us out of the dock and we headed about 20 feet into the channel. Passing by one of the neighbors, my sister-in-law and I realized that it didn’t look to noble of us that she and I were lazing away in the boat while our mother-in-law rowed us around the channel. I volunteered to take the oars. This row boat was a bit different than other boats I had experienced in the past, but I figured they are all about the same.

My first mistake was that I was rowing backwards. This boat was one where you sat with your back to the bow of the boat and pulled the attached oars toward you to make the boat go forward. We decided to both sit on the seat together and share rowing duties, my mother-in-law with the left oar and myself with the right oar. My sister-in-law sat in the front to navigate by telling which of us to row faster.

We were coming around a corner, and I started rowing. I figured the deeper I plunged the oars, the more quickly we could get doing. Of course, my strong rowing would also help compensate for my mother-in-law in case her rows were not as strong as mine. Quite quickly, we were marooned in the weeds on the left bank. I am thinking to myself that my mother-in-law is having a tough time rowing, so I should row faster and deeper to overcompensate more. Eventually I realized that it was my fast, deep rowing that was actually pushing us into the weeds, and the faster I rowed, the more difficult it was for my mother-in-law to get the boat out of the weeds. She recognized this too, and thankfully didn’t smack me upside the head with her weed-laden paddle.

I decided to take a different tack. These paddles were attached to the boat, and I wasn’t used to that method of rowing. I figured out a work-around and detached my paddle. I stood up to give us a push off the bank of weeds. We took out about two dozen species of lily pads in the process, and my strong push got us right into the weeds on my side of the boat. Now it was my mother-in-law’s turn to row. We eventually muddled our way out of that part of the channel, and I volunteered my sister-in-law to take over. She was going strong, and we all took note that it may be easier for one person to row on her own since one person didn’t have to synchronize with the other.

On your own, if you are facing the right way, you can adjust for upcoming weeds and obstacles as long as you have a good navigator. Of course, it can be confusing when the rower is facing backwards and the navigator is facing front-wards. The navigator is giving a direction to head toward the left, and the rower has to figure out – row stronger on my left-side or right-side? My sister-in-law was doing well until a strong wind headed our way and the boat was pushed into the weeds again. I volunteered to take one of the oars, and my mother-in-law sat in the back of the boat to help us navigate.

To get us out of the weeds and back into the channel that would eventually lead us home, we had to work completely together. We had an additional challenge of a strong wind that was pushing us into trouble, but we were determined to row home. Many times we had to watch out for obstacles that were hindering each other’s sides. We also had to understand how the other person was paddling and match their effort. My sister-in-law mentioned to me a few times that shallow paddles were more effective for her since they didn’t bring up every weed in the lake. This was a nonchalant way of telling me that my strong, deep strokes were doing nothing for our progress and holding us up since every few strokes I had to stop and de-weed.

My mother-in-law got some great joy in navigating. She would alternately shout our names to get one of us to row stronger to avoid some upcoming obstacles. She also tried clapping or yelling, “pull, pull” to get us in-sync.

Eventually we made it home. It took us about an hour and a half to get around the channel, and by the time we returned the men had come home. My sister-in-law and I deftly docked the boat and were proud of our accomplishment. I knew we had a story now to share about our adventures on the lake. I also knew I had to change the way I went about trying to succeed.

Piedmont Story

One of our favorite restaurants is Piedmont in Durham. We were excited about Piedmont before it even opened, and I will never forget that day at the Durham Farmers Market when Mark and I eavesdropped on a conversation between a food vendor and the future owners of Piedmont.

Piedmont was one of the first restaurants that opened in a wave of downtown restaurant openings. The place has a great story -- a young couple partnering with another young chef to open a downtown restaurant that features recipes from Piedmont, Italy and ingredients from the NC Piedmont. The wife, Abby, was a veteran server and bartender in Durham, and her signature clothing and heavy glasses made her easily recognizable in town. Her husband, Andy, was the chef that put Federal's bar menu on the map. Where else could you go for Duck Confit paired with PBR and a smoke? Andy's friend, Drew, came on board as well with experience in a host of fancy places out west. Drew started out as a vegetarian, but when he got into charcuterie he converted.

We were living in Old North Durham at the time, and Piedmont's location was walking distance from the house. We were thrilled to have a great place so close by, and we were eagerly awaiting the opening. It was summer of 2006 and Mark and I were strolling through the Durham Farmer's Market. This was when the market was still up in the parking lot behind it's current location. We happened to be perusing some local cheese at Celebrity Dairy, and Andy and Abby were chatting with the vendor about the opening of Piedmont. We were eavesdropping to find out the opening date and to hear how their preparations were going. Mark picked out a cheese for our dinner, and when we caught the vendor's attention to pay, he waived away our money. "It's on the house," he said. Puzzled, we thanked him and went on our way.

Fast forward about five months later, and we are sitting in the dining room of Piedmont. We were, and still are, thrilled about how the place has turned out. It is a special kind of restaurant where you can get dressed up and experience a chic dining experience, and you can also go in jeans and sit at the bar for a great cocktail and small plate. The food is special and different every time, and it gives you a gourmet experience for a less expensive price. As we were looking at the menu, Abby came up to our table. She didn't know us, but we knew her from Federal. She introduced herself and wanted to tell us a story.

"Do you remember that day at the farmer's market a while back?" she asked. Embarrassed that we were eavesdropping, we sheepishly answered, "yes..." Evidently that vendor had given us the free cheese because he thought we were the investment partner behind Piedmont. "After you walked away," Abby explained, "he said he was happy to have met 'the man' behind Piedmont." Mark laughs because the cheese wasn't the best we had ever had. He always thought the vendor gave him the cheese because it was so close to the expiration date.

Mark and I are great supporters of Piedmont, if not as investors, definitely as consumers. It saddens us that we don't see Abby's face there any more, but we do enjoy the rest of the staff there. They put up with us as outsiders, and they tolerate us even asking for items not on the regular menu. Drew is wonderful to ask Mark about his latest charcuterie endeavors.

No restaurant is perfect, and the funny thing about Piedmont is that the only less-than-great experiences we have had there is when we bring guests from out-of-town. Mostly because we hype up the restaurant so much, expectations run high and sometimes our experience doesn't meet the expectation. I complain that the menu is too advanced for those who don't live to eat. Or those who don't pore over Gourmet and Bon Appetit every month. I find that when we bring guests for dinner, Mark spends the first 15 minutes explaining the menu. Sometimes roast chicken is roast chicken.

Either way, I'm thinking about the arancini right now.

Our favorite pasttime...

Most people who know me know about my passion...food. My husband and I are somewhat obsessed with eating out, eating in, buying food, sharing food, sharing food ideas, visiting farms, talking about places to eat and planning our next meal. Our best friends understand that every conversation will eventually lead to, "have you tried XYZ restaurant," and then end with detailed descriptions of our latest meals. Of course, mostly these conversations are had over a great meal.

I do believe there are two types of people, those who live to eat, and those who eat to live. My husband and I absolutely live to eat, and that is part of the reason we live in the restaurant mecca of Durham. We do not discriminate, however. We have many favorite places that are located in towns like Binghamton, NY, Cleveland, OH, Kingston, Ontario and even Cary, NC.

Our hometown of Durham, however does provide a smorgasbord of restaurants, markets, taquerias and bakeries. In Durham, a chain restaurant has a difficult time surviving. Local proprietors and chefs, often under the age of 35, are celebrated and receive national press coverage. Restaurants with celebrity chefs such as Scott Howell and the Baker's win top national awards and are frequented by a wide array of people -- from professors to non-Duke associates. If a restaurant doesn't have a great beer list with local breweries represented or if a restaurant doesn't try to serve some local ingredients, chances are the restaurant isn't going to be around for long. Sometimes a requirement is a storied history in Durham -- "the chef used to be the chef at XXX Bar, the owner used to bar tend at XXX restaurant, etc."

Summer is an interesting time to visit Durham since so many of the students are out-of-town. Some restaurants take week-long vacations to recharge, and it is a great time for a townie to get a table without much stress. It's also a great time for a townie to better get-to-know the bartenders and servers.

I love rankings, and I will share many throughout the blog. I also love hearing other people's take on a place too.

Having a Blog

Like many people, I have been considering starting a blog for a long time. Several reasons prevented me from doing so. The first reason being -- who is going to read this? The second reason being -- am I that arrogant to think people would want to read this? Several other reasons include ... what am I going to blog about, my writing isn't that great, when will I have time to blog, etc.

I have been fortunate to have many great experiences in my life, especially in the last few years living in the Triangle. I am at an age where I realize that everything is a learning experience, and I have a lot to learn. Some of these experiences are kind of humorous, and I thought people might get a kick out of them.

This is also a decent venue to share photos and stories about what is up in my life. Bear with me as I learn the ins and outs of this process.

Some background information about me:
I moved to North Carolina after graduating from college in Ohio in 2001. Since moving to the Triangle, I have lived and worked in every town around - North Raleigh, downtown Raleigh, Chapel Hill, Cary, etc. The Triangle has been a wonderful home to me... this is where I have met so many amazing friends, this is where I met my wonderful husband and this is where my ever-changing career has begun. My husband and I settled in Durham, and we have been married for just a couple years. We are enjoying the "single" life for now. We have the opportunity to live in a great home, spend time with our friends and visit all the great attractions that the Triangle has to offer. We travel when we can, spend time with family when we can and in general take advantage of life! I hope someday we can introduce our children to this great world, but for now we are grateful for our current status.